Not Your Average Neurotypical Mom

OMG! We moved again...

2011-04-13T11:06:00.000-07:00

I know. I know. I said I wasn't ever moving again. I thought that the only way a moving truck was coming to my door anytime in the next, say 5 to 10 years, was to remove my stuff for the Estate Sale because I had passed on to my Eternal Reward.

But.

Well...My hubby needed a new job. He still had the old one, but he was miserable. And life just is too damn short to put up with a Miserable Spouse, I've discovered. And since I did want to keep the same Spouse, well...a new job was the on the horizon. And a little less than a year after he had actively started the job hunt, a new offer presented itself and was accepted.

Here is our new home.

I hesitate to use the phrase Dream Home, but it does seem to fit us very well as a family. It's casual, without being too casual. It's formal without being stuffy. I like it. And I'm looking forward to getting all our shit unpacked and finding a space for everything and putting it there.

One of my favorite things about moving was getting our house in Chadds Ford ready to put on the market. I really loved that streamlined clean that is just required to sell your house these days.

Every room was tidy and had a visual focal point. I had all my pictures and tchachkes perfectly displayed. I had even organized my closet, so as to make the best impression and really play up all the storage space we enjoyed.

It was hard work getting it all to that point, but I did enjoy that point once I got there, so that was very cool.

I am nowhere near that point in this house. I have boxes stacked and stuff on top of stuff everywhere. I have no idea what to do with more than one room in this house.

Don't get me wrong, I love this house...it's just all so overwhelming. And it doesn't quite feel like "home" yet. But it's only been a month since we moved in, so I just have to give it time.

Until then, I'm saying it and I'm meaning it this time. I. Am. Never. Moving. Again.

There. I said it.

Until, probably next time...

New Developments in Pottyland

2010-07-28T12:17:00.000-07:00

(Warning: if you are at all squeamish about bodily functions, don't bother reading this post. Just know that there has been much success and also celebration in our house.)

There have been some Big Developments on the Potty Training Front for the past three weeks. These Developments are so huge I've been scared to write about them, for fear that this might somehow negatively impact them. But we are going on three weeks now--I feel more secure in publicly acknowledging them:

Kieran has been Pull Up Free for almost three weeks now. And he's been regularly going #2 in the potty in the evening. In fact, I did away with Pull Ups all together and we are "trending well" in all aspects of Potty Training, including Nocturnal Dryness--again, I can't stress how big this is.

To understand you have to go back in time almost 5 years, to when Kieran was turning 3. I did it all wrong. In fact, if there is one piece of advice that I would give any parent of an autistic child, be that child "high functioning" or completely "non verbal", it would be--Get outside expert help with potty training. Like, Real Experts. And I mean, people who have done this with lots of kids, not just special needs. People who, if you will forgive the pun--People who know their shit!

I had been told to take it nice and slow, so when we introduced the potty, it was no real stress--sort of a "Hey, what do we have here....? Oh, look! A Potty!" introduction.

Well, this really got us no where, as Kieran could have really cared less. Then we started with lots of sugary drinks and no underwear one weekend in February, when Kiki was 4 1/2 years old. And while, yes...7 hours later, he did pee in the potty, since there was next to no real structure, he really didn't "get" it and I just got frustrated when he wasn't "getting it" and still shitting and pissing all over the place.

I did it all wrong. I know that now. And to be honest, I kind of knew it then, but...it was a tough time.

Then we moved to Toronto, and I put off all potty training until after we were settled--and wouldn't you know it? The little bugger suddenly starts peeing the potty all by himself. Unfortunately this newfound initiative did not follow through with moving of his bowels. He would only "go" in a PullUp.

To label Kieran stubborn is a major understatement. His conviction level, when he so moved, rivals that of Gandhi, and I'm not exaggerating. The hours that I have spent trying to coax him to relax on the potty! For weeks on end I have made this my sole focus, only to be shot down by Kieran's solemn, big brown-eyed gaze. "No, Mommy. I don't want to poop on the potty."

So, I'd back off and try again a few months later.

Well, there have been some big changes with Kieran in the past months. He's asking a ton of questions...constantly. It's like he's finally figured out that there this whole, big, baffling world out there and if he only starts asking some questions about it, it will all start to make more sense.

He also is really big on testing boundaries. While this is utterly adorable now ---"What happens if I don't go to bed?" "What happens if I don't eat my dinner?" "What happens if I don't get off the computer?"---I'm sure this will lose it's charming appeal when these efforts become more sophisticated.

But the point is, Kieran now is thinking so much more dynamically about the world around him and his place in it. It's exciting stuff. Heady, even.

And he's eating fruit. Lots and lots of fruit. Cherries are a big hit. Peaches. Strawberries. Blueberries. Watermelon has not been tolerated well, but we will try again (the texture is a little different, if you think about it). He has even tried broccoli, as well as squash and other vegetables. Now, I'm not going to lie to you. Vegetables are not his favorite, but he tolerates them, and will eat one to three bites. He does, however, love carrot juice. A juice that, by itself, make me want to retch. Who would have guessed?

So, the child has more fiber in his system. With the lure and appeal of the iPad I got Dave for Fathers Day-which worked at being motivation enough to get Kieran to sit on the potty for quite a while, combined with that extra fiber, and things just moved along. While he zoomed around the globe on the Google Earth App, he relaxed enough and felt like he could go.

I didn't believe it was ever going to happen. That very afternoon, I had a conversation with a friend of mine where I depressingly opined that Kiki was probably going to still be pooping in a Pull Up when he went off to VoTech School for Computer Programming. I really didn't believe. Which if you knew me is shocking, because quite frankly, I think my kids can do anything. I have the highest expectations of them than anyone, but...it just goes to show you how exhausting and demoralizing potty training can be on a parent. (Got to keep the emotion out of it!!!)

So, after bath, I went downstairs to do something with Blythe and I left Kiki to Dave's hands. Well, wouldn't you know it, about 15 minutes later, a naked-from-the-waist-down Kiki comes downstairs. "Mom, I have something to show you." And there you go.

I don't think I can communicate how thrilled and relieved I was. And, although I remained cautious in my celebrations that night (we had to run to Target to get the new Buzz Lightyear toy), he did it again the next night. And the next. And the next.

As I said, it's been over three weeks now.

I don't have to buy Pull Ups anymore.

For the first time in over 9 years, we are a diaper and Pull Up free-house.

*sigh*

Our HBOT Experience

2010-06-19T06:25:00.001-07:00

Cam finished his 1st round of 40 dives yesterday. I say "1st round" because we will be doing this again. I'm not sure how I'm going to pay for it yet, but I will make it happen, and probably later this fall, finishing before the middle of December.

Here are some of the changes we've seen:

Cam has been playing with his toys. Now, in all fairness, he has been doing this for over a year now, but he really plays, with intent, now. I found him playing in Blythie's Barbie Townhouse this morning, making the little dog walk around the house. I've never seen this type of creative play in Cam. He's transitioning so much better. He's processing language much faster and he seems to understand the whole of the sentence you are telling him, whereas before I think he only got a word here and there. This would explain his lag in processing time before: think about it--if you only heard and understood one or two words of any sentence someone tells you (albeit, the important words) wouldn't it take you a second or two to figure out what the heck they wanted?

Kiki has seen some nice gains, too. He's talking a lot and asking questions all the time. And some of the questions are quite interesting, proving to me that he's really is listening and thinking about what's go on around him.

I find myself saying things to him more and more that I would say to to typically developing, 2 or 3 year old. For example, when he's been frustrated about something, I say "Kiki, slow down and use your words to tell me what you mean." And it works, which is pretty fabulous.

It's especially fabulous when you consider that Kiki is coming the end of Stage 2 in RDI, which corresponds with the development of a neurotypical two year old.

These past two months I've spent a lot of time trying to learn about HBOT and why it works: the biological mechanisms behind it. I came across this explanation on one of my listserves.

With hard chambers, the main reason for breaks is to let the capillary growth continue. It will continue for up to 90 days and then if you can do another 40, it will trigger the growth of more new capillaries.

The number one reason for doing HBOT to begin with is because of the lack of oxygen getting to the damaged areas. New capillaries provide a new avenue of delivery for the red blood cells which is the delivery mechanism for oxygen. In order to get that capillary development, a certain amount of oxygen saturation is needed. When the saturation goes away within 2 hours after a session, it begins to signal the brain that the oxygen is needed and the brain signals new growth. It requires repetitive signals every day to begin this growth.

With a soft chamber, this level of saturation does not occur. There is benefit but it slowly leaves when you discontinue the use of the soft chamber. The reason for the regression is there is not enough new capillary development to continue that oxygen delivery with red blood cells. There is no avenue of delivery.

Although most people are convinced I am totally against soft shells, they are wrong. The combination of soft and hard chamber use is the best therapy a brain injured child, whether autism, cp or for whatever reason, can ever recieve. I have always advocated to use both.

Unfortunately, the only training a DAN doctor recieves in hbot is from the soft chamber industry, mainly the IHA which was set up to promote soft chambers. Therefore, they base their advice on this training and info which is totally one-sided.

There was a DAN doctor in TN who bought a soft chamber for his own child with autism. They used it every day. The hospital he worked with had a hard chamber and they allowed him to use it for 17 treatments. The difference in results was large. He brought his son to us and we did 80 sessions and the improvements were major and permanent. That MD is now working with the Univ. of Alabama in studying hbot. He now advises the use of hard hbot. He uses his soft chamber for maintenance with his son.

It is the oxygen and not the pressure that makes the real difference and when you fine tune it with higher pressures the results improve dramatically. But the 100% oxygen is the first and foremost requirement. HBOT simply means delivering oxygen under pressure.

Robert Hartsoe www.miraclemountain.org

So, if you have happened upon my blog trying to find out more about HBOT, just like I did when we were beginning, hopefully this explanation will help you understand it a bit better. I do think it's a valuable tool with treating autism.

I'm not sure that it did all that I'd hoped (and what I've seen in other children), but I do see differences and I'm glad we did it.

We still have lots more to do and many more miles to go. But, as always, any real progress is always welcome.

This One Summer

2010-06-12T15:09:00.000-07:00

Summer is almost here.

Kiki is so very excited about the coming Last Day of School, that he greets me every morning with a sing-songy "Mom, I only have (blank) many days left!" Of course, he still will have ESY (Extended School Year) but that's just not the same as school.

In my feeble attempt to prolong summer, I've had the kids make a Top 10 List of the things they each want to do this summer. I've (of course) done my own. It's really quite cool to see the things they have come up with. My hope is that they will be able to compile a little book of their List, complete with pictures and descriptions.

I only wish I'd had something so cool and so personal from my summers as a child. All I have are memories of AGA Summer Camp: swimming at Timberlane CC Pool, lots and lots of mosquito bite, playing at the park at the local public school down the street and hot, hot, hot muggy days with afternoon thunderstorms. Hmmmm, may have to brainstorm these memories for myself.

Anyways, I'm thinking about meeting the kids off the school bus tomorrow with a big balloon bouquet and sign. Maybe "Summer Starts Now!" or something silly and fun.

It's all about episodic memory, isn't it? Time to make some This Summer...

20 Dives and Counting, An Update

2010-06-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

So, here we are. Half way into our 40 dives of HBOT for the boys.

Notice they are in the chamber together. This is awesome, as it means I only have to drive to the HBOT center once a day instead of two. It also means a substantial reduction in the cost, as we now only pay for one dive, instead of two. Apparently the center really didn't want to do this, as they felt there was a liability issue---I guess they thought the boys could start fighting and severely hurt themselves before we could decompress and get to them (the quickest we could get it would be about 30 seconds). But, my boys are fine together. And I think Kiki would be sad if he didn't dive with Cam for some reason.

So here we are, halfway in, and as I promised, I wanted to give an update:

I had a long chat with Cam's teacher, which was originally about this next year and Cam's educational placement. She was quite definite in her assessment of the past month and a half: whatever it is we're doing, keep doing it. Her words exactly were that "Cam is just here, much more present with us, instead of in his own little world." This is so cool because I feel the exact same way, only I was looking for it. Nice confirmation from another, independent source, as they had no idea we were doing this.

Now, I haven't had a similar conversation with Kiki's teacher, but I will. However, I see that Kiki is talking more, expressing more of his thoughts with his language, and that his language is more nuanced. He's paying attention to nonverbal cues more. He's just progressing.

One thing I will say is that the boys have been INCREDIBLY wired in the evenings when they come home from HBOT. And that's what being in 100% oxygen at 1.5 times air pressure will do to you. It's like putting your foot down on the gas pedal of your metabolic engine. Like most things in life, it doesn't just "settle back down nicely" because you want it to do so. But it is getting better.

So far, so good. I'm looking forward to getting my afternoons and evenings back in a few weeks, though.

Everyday Parental Epiphanies

2010-05-28T05:27:00.000-07:00

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

~Max Ehrmann's Desiderata

I first came across this humble bit of prose on the occasion of my graduation from university. My mom gave me this beautiful card with this piece of wisdom as an Illuminated Illustration. I've found it to be endlessly comforting and meaningful. I think I've quoted it to myself during times of stress more than anything, even Shakespeare.

I bring it up because I've found myself to be under a bit of stress and upset over the past few days. I find myself watching the boys, carefully studying their behavior for signs of change, and I tend to get upset when I don't see as much progress as I want.

We are smack in the middle of our 40 HBOT treatments for the boys, so I feel like I should be seeing some things, and we are, but probably not as much as I would like. The truth of the matter is, I believe that their autism wasn't caused by any one thing. So it makes sense to me that no ONE THING is going to be the defining moment of change for them. It's many things, including but not limited to experience.

This is a Marathon, and not a sprint.

And, as I've also quoted to myself (and others) probably hundreds of times in the past 8 years or so--"The point of parenting is not to raise perfect children."

There is no race to be won.

There is no prize to earn when your child reaches the age of consent, or graduates from high school or college.

There is no one watching and grading you as you go along...well except for maybe your In-laws (but that's another post for another day...).

The only persons whose happiness you can influence, and should therefore worry about, are yours and your children's.

And when I truly realize this and digest it, I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders. Hey, as long as we are happy and enjoying the ride, what does it matter if my kid is a little (okay, a lot) quirky? What does it matter if he enjoys spinning and lining up his toys and laying in the grass, staring up at the clouds, instead of playing with the kids around him?

It doesn't.

And there really is so much freedom and relief in that realization.

But it doesn't last, that epiphany of relief and release. After a while, my expectations and desires creep back up again, kind of like a vine that has to be pruned back under control after a rainy month. It's me and my expectations that are the problem.

My kiddos are just fine, being who they are. It's their parent that has the problem.

Feeling a little down today

2010-05-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a little blue this Monday, and no, I'm not talking about the New Order song (did I just date myself again?). This happens every once in a while, particularly when I'm in the middle of something time consuming, such as we are with HBOT right now.

It all started with being around other kids with the boys.

At school, Kiki has a social skills group that meets once a week. One of the parents of this group reached out to all of us to see if we could and would be interested in getting together outside of school once a month. I think the idea was to naturally extend what happens at school with the boys, and to network amongst ourselves as parents.

And it's been very successful...for the other boys.

For Kiki, it just seems to highlight to me how very overwhelming being around other kids (particularly boys his age of 6/7) is for him. He wants to be a part of the group, but after a couple of minutes, it just gets too much and he segregates himself to the edges of the playground. *sigh*

Now, I know sometimes people feel sorry for me, particularly when they first meet us, because of the fact that we have not one, but two little boys with autism. But it's funny. I very rarely feel sorry for myself or our family. And the only times I do is when the Outside World intrudes.

Like when the Canadian Government at first refused to allow us to move temporarily to Canada for my husband's job because the of the boys' autism. Or the time Kiki got "asked to leave" (please read kicked out) on the first day of preschool because he wanted to play with the new toys and not go to Circle time (and so he screamed for 15 minutes when they took away all the cool toys). Or when I see both the boys with their typically developing peers and realize just how different, and how far behind, they are from those NT kids.

So here I was, last Sunday, sitting under a shady tree with Kiki, trying to get him to want to play with the other children, and feeling more than a tad sorry for myself. And, as I looked over at the other moms (who, let me just say here, are all incredibly nice and supportive people), I'm thinking, "These ladies don't work anywhere near as hard as I do to parent their children! Although their kids are in the social skills group alongside Kiki, their kids are doing soooo much better than mine."

They don't spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars a year on biomedical stuff and figure out new and creative ways to get vitamins and supplements into their boys. They don't surf the web endlessly for new research on autism and it's causes. They don't drive twice a day to the HBOT center 25 minutes each way. They don't have to constantly check themselves on whether or not they are being too imperative and prompting in their communication style.

It just doesn't seem fair sometimes.

Waaaaaaaaa!

I know. I know.

I'm being a whiny baby.

Toughen up, Sweetheart!

There are no promises in this world.

Life sucks, so get a helmet!

Pity party over. Back to work.

My Secret Weapon with Biomed

2010-05-11T10:52:00.001-07:00

When I began Biomedical Supplements with my boys I admit I was a little lost.
I remember thinking to myself, as I looked at this big bottle of capsules, "How in the hell am I supposed to get this into my children's bodies? I can't even get steamed carrots into them!"

It occurred to me then that I could just open the capsules and mix the contents in some sort of strong flavored juice. So, that's what I did. And I used the 2 teaspoon oral syringe that I got from the drugstore.

But I have to admit, it was time consuming. In order to make some the the stronger stuff more palatable, and frankly potable, I needed to dilute it in more juice, like a 1/4 cup (which equals 3 tablespoons, if you will remember from that cooking class you took back in your early twenties). Which means, you are giving them this dose of juice 5 or 6 times. Not fun.

But then, one day, I came across this miracle

It's huge! It holds more than 35ml of liquid. That's over 7 teaspoons! So, I mixed those nasty tasting supplements into an ounce or so of pomegranate juice (super tart and it kinda grows on you after a while) and away we were. I've also used them to get freshly squeezed juice down them, but that's another post for another day.

I've learned some other lessons the hard way. Things like, never give your kids supplements on an empty stomach (or else you will be seeing them again very soon, probably all over your floor after your child throws them up). Or how to space the different supplements out by 20 or 30 minutes (I learned to set the oven timer to help me remember to give the next dose).

And not to give up.

As a wise doctor once told me, first you do what you can. Then you do what's possible. And before you know it...you're doing the impossible.

My only regret about biomedical intervention for my boys autism is that I didn't start it years ago.

Don't bother asking your local pharmacist for the oral syringes btw. They won't know what you are talking about, or at least they had not a clue what I was talking about when I asked them. I got them here. But if you don't want to buy 25 or 50 of them at a time, you can buy them in smaller packs on eBay.

HBOT and the Modern Family (with 2 Autistic Kids)

2010-05-01T06:12:00.001-07:00

So, we have embarked on a new therapy in our house: Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy.

40 dives over the next 8 weeks. With two different kiddos, two times a day. It's going to be a busy two months :(

So, how did I come to this place. Well, I think it's a case of that old saying--When the student is ready, the teacher appears. As anyone who knows me knows, over the past couple of a year or so, I have become a big believer in biomedical treatment of autism. I've used it with both my boys, with some success.

Well, I was at a TACA parent support meeting in my area, and one of the parents there (who is a medical doctor, btw) got up to talk about HBOT and how he credits it as being a big part of helping to recover his twin boys from regressive autism. I made a point to talk to him after the meeting, and he basically talked me into it.

Don't get me wrong, there's a fair amount of science behind HBOT, but basically he talked me into it. He's very passionate about HBOT and recovering kids from autism. Did I mention he's a surgeon? That was my first question to him, btw..."How on earth do you deal with all the negative press and outright hostility towards biomedical intervention with autism?"

He responded with "Because it worked with my kids. Although we doctors like to think we know everything...what we don't know about the human body far outweighs what we do know, particularly when it comes to the brain and its development from infancy to adulthood." He mentioned to the Germ Theory of Disease, the cornerstone upon which all Western Medicine is founded, and how it was rejected for literally centuries until proven by many dedicated doctors and scientists.

What I do know is that HBOT really cannot hurt my boys, in the same way that supplements and vitamins haven't hurt them, and because this past year has been their healthiest year ever, I will continue to try to look for the best and brightest future for them.

But first, I have to get through the next two months and twice daily trips to the HBOT center. I will let you know how we do and what differences we see (if any)in each of them.

2010-04-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

Food and Life, Life and Food

2010-04-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

Kieran ate two bites of strawberries last night. Completely his own idea. I know this might sound rather paltry and somewhat sad to some folks, but it's downright shocking to me. I'm still kind of processing it.

You have to understand, my son doesn't eat a variety of things. In fact, most of his diet is beige in color: pasta, bananas, white rice, chicken nuggets, cheerios, etc. There are no bright colors in his diet, with the exception of things with red or blue 40 artificial food coloring (Icees are included in this group, along with candy and potato chips). He just won't eat. Anything. Else.

And when I've had this conversation with health minded folks, I see them look at me with a sort of condescending gaze, "Well, you just shouldn't give him a choice," they'll say. As if it's really possible to force a child to eat something they don't want to eat.

Well, about a month ago, with the support of my Behavior Specialist, I went ahead and did just that. It wasn't pretty and in a lot of ways in felt wrong. I didn't force the small, dice-sized square of pizza in his mouth, but I made it clear he wasn't going anywhere until he chewed it and swallowed it. I think it took 45 minutes from when we started to when we finished, and he threw up five times before he managed to keep it down. Bare in mind this is only pizza I'm talking about: not liver, not arsenic, not anything even particularly nasty.

But it worked, and since then we've kept at it, adding new foods every week or so. Strawberries are the newest and because they are a natural food source, rich in antioxidents and flavor, I have embraced them. Okay, so until the fresh ones from the farm down the street come ripe, I do add a teaspoon of sugar to make them a little less sharp-tasting. But believe me, it's so much better than some of the other things he prefers to consume.

Today it's strawberries. This summer it will hopefully be cherries and peaches. And who knows, maybe by winter I'll get him to eat a real live vegetable--wouldn't that be something?!?

The New House

2009-07-17T08:19:00.000-07:00

So, after leaving Denny's and The Breakfast of Champions, we drove for the next 8 hours or so and went straight to our New House. I was looking forward to showing the kids, since they hadn't seen it, except in pictures.

Well, we drive up and the first thing I see is this...

Our house is the one you see in the distance, behind all the weird, dog-house-looking, sewer-substation crap. All I can think of is "What the hell did we agree to buy tomorrow?".

Actually, the view I had (from the inside of our minivan) was all sewer substation, because where I took this picture is at a higher vantage point than the one we enjoyed in the car. We did not get out of the car because we could still see the previous owner moving out their stuff.

So, off we went to the Doubletree Hotel for our wonderful 4 night stay.

Do I sound bitter and sarcastic? Because I am! It was dreadful! Small, with expensive, slow internet, and nasty food for breakfast, served on dirty dishes by sullen, impatient staff.

I couldn't wait to get out of there, let me tell you. If I hadn't been in such a state of shock from moving, I would have found my mojo and gotten us the hell out of there. But Dave was like, "If we cancel our stay early, they'll charge us."

Now, from the vantage point of a non-sleep-deprived and relatively calm Mom, I would say to him, "I'd like to see them try."

But at the time, I was so tired, irritated, shell-shocked and worried about our move-in that I just agreed with him.

Crazy, huh?

Well, five days later, the moving truck shows up around 11am, only to discover that they can't fit the truck up the driveway.

As you can perhaps see by the picture, it's an insanely long driveway. And curvy. So, after renting a smaller moving truck, they begin moving our stuff into our new house.

I think we had everything in, and somewhat assembled by 9:30pm. The kids passed out on the couch in the basement at 8pm. And I think I got to sleep around midnight.

But, we are now in our new house and it really is very nice.

It still doesn't feel quite like home (whatever that is), but I can see where it will in the future.

I've got everyone registered for schools, and we having all sorts of testing in the coming weeks for each of the boys, as well as Blythe, to help them with their placement for school in the Fall.

So, now, it's all about enjoying our Summer. And vantage points :)
Remember, perspective is everything.

Back in the US of A and, by the way, I'm Never Moving Again.

2009-07-11T05:54:00.000-07:00

So, we finally drove away from our house in Toronto at 10:30pm on the evening of June 24th, and we crossed back over The Border just after midnight on the 25th. Oh. My. God. I didn't think we were ever going to get out of that house.

In the words of Blythe Grace at 7:30pm as we were taking another pee trip after driving around the neighborhood for the fourth time, "These are the Slowest Movers Ever!"

I shushed her immediately, although I don't know why. The only way they could have gotten any slower was to just leave...or drop dead there on the lawn. It was a long day.

We stayed at the Marriott in Buffalo, and hit the road again after a nutritious breakfast at Denny's. I seem to remember Kieran had chicken nuggets and juice, Blythe had hot dog and Cameron had pancakes and sausage. I tried to negotiate for more of a breakfast-type meal, but as anyone who has tried to negotiate with terrorists will tell you, you mustn't tell them "No." You must keep the lines of communication open, or else the consequences may be disastrous. That, and I just wasn't up to being That Mom in the Dennys in Buffalo that morning.

As we pulled out of the parking lot, Blythie saw this flag and started to tear up a bit.

"Seeing that flag makes me miss Canada, Mom."

I know, Honey. But we've got a lot to look forward to, I promise.
And little did I know how true my words were. There was so much more to look forward to with our move only half done. Lucky me, eh?

Cool Excursion for the Week

2009-06-10T16:38:00.000-07:00

Okay, so Kiki and I had to go for his fourth RDA today with our RDI Consultant, who happens to live in Peterborough which is an hour drive from our house. So, Lucky Duck that he is, he got to skip school. I was going to take him to school later on when we got home, but he looked at me with such a pleading look on his face, "Please, can we just go home, Mom?" So, being the Total Hardass Parent that I am, I told him "Sure" and we ended up at home after our meeting.

Well, lo and behold, it was actually a stunning day here in Southern Ontario, a little on the cool side in the mid sixties, but I'll take it!!! So, after a quick lunch, I decided we needed to do something fun.

Well, when we first moved her two years ago, I bought a book about fun things to do in Toronto with your kids. I bought a couple of them, actually, but the book I have used the most was this one. It had many cool and different, off-the-beaten-path suggestions to take your kids for a good time, but one that really caught my eye was the Pearson Airport trip.

So we went over to Pearson International Airport to watch the planes land and take off.

Out on Airport Road, in a Wendy's parking lot, there were several "airplane watchers", some of whom had brought their own seating with them. And for the 40 minutes that we were there, more and more arrived. I did a little research after we got home and apparently, all the big jets (747s and up) start to land around 3pm, until 7pm. They just kept coming, these big jets, about one every 5 minutes or so.

They were so close, like a couple hundred feet in the air, and were landing literally across the street from us. It wasn't as loud as I imagined it would be, either, although you tended to feel them before you saw them.

There was a part of me that wondered if this would be even possible at any airports that I have known in the US. Dave assures me that it is, but I must do more research on this when we get back to Philly. And I have to take Blythie.

Next time, with just a little more research, we can have a list of what flights are landing when. Maybe even bring our own seating...

Too, too cool.

My Thoughts on Biomedical Treatment for Autism

2009-06-06T18:47:00.000-07:00

When you first learn that your child has autism, you head out to the library, or over to Amazon.com and you search for books about autism. Nowadays, that Go-To Book may very well be Jenny McCarthy's book. She gets enough press, doesn't she? I've met so many people who absolutely hate her, but I myself am rather ambivalent. She's just trying to help guide us parents out there who are rolling with the punches and don't know which way to go. But, I digress...

Back in 2004, when autism really began to seem a real possibility in my mind as a cause for my son's delays in speaking, the Go-To book was Facing Autism by Lynn M. Hamilton. It was a memoir of one family's struggle with their child's diagnosis with autism and it had lots of steps to take and try to help with the common problems of childhood autism.

I read it very carefully and with much interest. The main problem I had with it was that symptoms and problems she described of a child with autism didn't really fit Kiki.

Kieran was the World's Most Easygoing Baby, and that isn't an exaggeration. He slept like a fiend from the day he came home. I'm talking 13 hours a night, and two power naps of one to two hours a day. He ate well. He was extremely affectionate and loved to be held, cuddled, kissed and rocked. He looked deeply into my eyes and looked and studied everything and everyone around him (at least us in his family). And he never really regressed in any skills. Now, he didn't speak until well after his 2nd birthday, but he never had that regression of acquired skills that you often read about from other parent's accounts of their autistic child's developmental path.

So, the more I learned about the GFCF Diet and Chelation, the more I thought that it wasn't for us.

Then, Cameron was born. And although he was similar enough to Kiki that I knew he was autistic by the time he was 10 months old, he was still very different. He did not eat baby food. Ever. The texture was intolerable to him. He toe walked and was an okay-sleeper (because after Blythe, just about every child seems an Okay-Sleeper, with a very few notable exceptions). He definitely seemed to have more sensory based issues. He has always been a much more stimmy child than Kiki, which is really saying something.

So, Biomedical seemed more and more like it was something I wanted to try for Cam. But, as anyone who has ever tried it will tell you, the GFCF Diet is a BITCH to implement and even more difficult to stick to for any length of time. And it's pretty much the centerpiece of all Biomedical Treatment. You start with GFCF and then take it from there. Because it's all about Inflammation, and the Inflammation in the brain, almost always, begins and ends in the gut. That's the Big Message with Biomedical--Heal the gut and you begin to heal the brain.

But I still wasn't completely on board that it was really for us--that it was really worth my time and energy to implement and commit to. Because it's hard to follow a strict biomedical regime, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Then, this past December, Cam caught some sort of intestinal parasite, Dientamoeba fragilis. I'll spare you the gory details, but it was beyond gross, poor guy. It's a fairly common parasite and not supposed to be a big deal. But what really scared me, was the pattern of regression I saw in Cam while he had this parasite. He became Super Stimmy, and even more echolalic than ever. He stopped responding to his name. I'm not going to sugar coat it--it scared the shit out of me. And since he seemed to come back to normal after a round of oral antibiotics, I decided that Biomedical Treatment was worth more than a second look.

I found a DAN doctor here in Toronto and made an appointment. We started the GFCF Diet. We began extensive testing, of both boys blood and stool and urine. Very, horribly expensive, since most insurances will pay only partly for them, and ours didn't pay any, since our DAN doctor is a Naturopathic Doctor and not an MD. Based on those tests, we started different supplements. We've been adding a new supplement every few weeks. We consult with the doc every six weeks (more often if needed) and tweak stuff here and there.

It's been an eye opening experience.

We've seen differences in both boys, but the most profound changes have been with Cam. He's talking now. Now, to be fair, he was talking before we started biomedical, but it has exploded since January. His speech is so much clearer, and it has so much more intention behind it. His speech is still a far cry from that of a neurotypical 4 and a half year old. I would put it at about that of your average 16 month old. But it's a big change and a welcome one.

Now, I couldn't, and I wouldn't, tell you that his dietary changes have been the soul reason for these changes. Cam gets well over 30 hours of pretty intensive ABA a week, in addition to lots of one and one interaction at home. But I feel confident that Biomedical Intervention has helped. It's been more than worth the effort.

So, if you are at all interested in going that Biomedical Path, but have been too scared or worried that you are slipping off the deep end into the Abyss of The Crazies (which for some reason these loving and caring doctors and parents have been demonized as in the Court of Public Opinion), don't let that stop you.

Educate yourself, find a good and reputable doctor that you have a good rapport with, and give it a shot. I don't think you have anything to lose.

Tastes Like Love, Without the Heartache!

2009-06-04T11:13:00.000-07:00

So, in between carting vanloads of unwanted clothes and toys from our house during the day, I also been traveling downtown to the St. Lawrence Market to Crepe It Up in order to enjoy my favorite item off their menu, The Monster!

I wish that I could, through the magic of The Internet, send this fabulous creation to you so you could enjoy it. The secret is these round crepe-making hot flat surfaces, in which they carefully swirl the batter.

Then they crack an egg and carefully swirl it around to cover the surface of the batter.

And then they add slices of ham, spices, fresh spinich, mushrooms, onion, red pepper and God Knows what else. Oh, CHEESE! Did I forget to mention cheese?! It's just so Darn GOOD!!

If I lived closer than a twenty minute drive, I swear I would eat one of these every day.

And then after folding over once in half and again into quarters, they even have the generosity of spirit to add a SALAD next to it.

Truly, thing of beauty, and that's just one of their extensive menu of sweet and savory crepes!!!

I will miss them when we leave...hmmmm, must search Philly area for Crepe Restaurant. Note to self....

But if you ever find yourself in Toronto, do yourself a big favor, and catch a streetcar over to St. Lawrence Market. Down in the Lower Level, you will find Crepe It Up...only Love here! Only love...

Three weeks & counting...

2009-06-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that it's coming to an end. In less than 21 days, we will be on our way back to the US of A. Time sure does fly.

Now it's all about purging stuff that we don't need to move, organizing stuff that we do need to move, and (most important of all) keeping us all happy and sane while we prepare for our move. Oh, and I'm also trying to do a little bit of exploration and have a bit of a long goodbye of all the things that I will miss about Toronto, Canada, when we are gone. And for those naysayers and cynics among you, YES, there are quite a few things that I have come to like, and even love, about Canada since we've been here, and that I will miss very much.

True, the weather is NOT one of them.

I will, however, miss every single one of the teachers at the Boys school. They have been, quite simply, everything I could have hoped for our time here in Canada. They have been dedicated, loving, sympathetic, etc. I couldn't have sat down to create them in my wildest fantasies and come up with any better. They have given the boys so much of themselves, and boys have responded in kind.

True, Cam has been a bit of a pill for the past couple of weeks, but that's for another post.

It's been a great two years for the boys, and my hope is that we will be able to launch our new lives for them in school, and us as a family, with a great deal of clarity of purpose and direction. We know what Kiki and Cam are now capable of. We now need to keep raising that bar for them, so that they can continue to develop and grow from adorable little boys to young men.

I have loved both of my babysitters very much here in Canada and I will miss them both very much.

I have loved having a selection of amazing scrapbooking stores within an half hours' drive from my house.

I have loved having the St. Lawerence Market so close, with such an excellent selection of meat, seafood and this place, where you can enjoy the best crepes I have ever had the pleasure to eat!

I have loved having a heated swimming pool, although we haven't been able to use it as much as we would have (reference the aforementioned weather). We probably won't have an inground swimming pool in our backyard again, at least not at our next house. But I have a lot of fond memories of this one to keep me happy and scrapbooking for a while.

There's been a lot to love about our stay here in Canada. I can honestly say that just about every single person I've met has been courteous and helpful, espcially with the boys. And so proud to be Canadian. They love their country, do these Canadians, as well they should.

Now, if only they could do something about the weather...

Eight is Enough!!

2009-02-12T10:33:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I have an eight year old child!

I know this sounds stupid, but I can't believe it. It was only a couple of years ago that I brought her home from Northwestern Memorial in 15 degrees Fahrenheit weather, without really much of a clue how to care for her. And then she proved me right by not sleeping more than three hours in a row for the next four months. Yup, despite sleep deprivation bordering on torture, I do remember those days. Vividly.

So it just seems so weird to me how grown up she is. She's Eight! You know what comes next? Nine! And then, gasp, Double Digits!!! Yikes!
It just goes by so, so fast....

My Tips for Parents Just Recieving a Diagnosis

2009-02-08T12:40:00.000-08:00

Several times over the past couple of years, we've had friends contact us, and ask if they can give our information to a friend who has just recieved a diagnosis of autism for their child. I guess that means we look like we are doing okay, so I take this as a form of praise of how we function as a family.

After writing this letter several times, to those several different families, I decided that I could just as easily post it to my blog. And if others happen upon it, and find it helpful, all the better!

Okay, so we have three kids, two of whom are autistic. But, before you feel sorry for us, know that, yes, it's been difficult at times. But it's probably not been as hard as some would imagine. I guess I've learned that perspective is EVERYTHING, and I have always felt so lucky for all that we have and are, that I don't focus so much what isn't there.

My husband and I are very good at working as a team together. I'm The Wildfire, out there surfing the web at all hours of the night, looking for the latest research and therapies, and of course I'm also the Chronic Worrier. As a counterpoint, my husband is the Wet Blanket, keeping it all in perspective and working to be the Sounding Post of Reason ("No, that therapy sounds like crap, but I get why you are excited about this one" or my personal favourite "Put DOWN autism book...step AWAY from the Autism Book."---Spoken with the same intonation of the 'Drop The Chalupa' Taco Bell Ad from a few years ago). Very occasionally we have switched places, when Hubby comes at me with lots of worried questions and observations. THAT was disconcerting, I can say--to have to be The Voice of Reason, but nevertheless, it all works out.

There are so many parents who have it so much worse than us. That being said, I know it's tough and I would not wish this journey on anyone. It's just so full of Unknowns, and that (for me) is what is so terrifying.

Okay, so what advice can I give you to help you guys? As I look at this letter, I realise that it's huge. Feel free to pick and choose info as needed. I tend to sound pedantic and From the Soapbox. I'm sorry about that. Please know that I mean no offense. I'm just a passionate soul, especially when it comes to my kids.

1. Don't fear the Diagnosis. It's just a label, and it will get you services. It will open doors to therapies that you (and your whole family) will need. I used to refer my boys as "On the Spectrum" all the time, or as having "High Functioning Autism". Now I just call them little boys with autism. There is no one path that kids with autism take. I've met kids as teenagers who are really cool and collected and wonderfully quirky, who were diagnosed as classically Autistic (low functioning) as little kids. Conversely, I've also met teenagers and adults with Aspergers or PDD-NOS that would drive me absolutely NUTS to be around, they were so controlling, yet they were always labelled as High Functioning and Very Intelligent as little kids, so everyone assumed they would be fine. The label means nothing beyond getting you services now, so don't waste time and energy fixating on it.

2. Find a Parent Support Group in the county where you live. This has been the single most valuable resource to me in navigating the Byzantine health and education systems in, our former home state of Pennsylvania, and I'm sure it's no different wherever you live. There are so many parents who have walked the path you are on, probably not far from your house. Although their kids are likely VERY different from yours, you will be able to benefit from their wisdom, experience, and most importantly, you will quickly learn what services your county and school district will pay for and what they won't. You will also learn how to get certain therapies and what works for others. These therapies may not work for you, but information is your friend.

So, ask around. Pediatricians might know about these types of groups. Special Education teachers at most elementary schools might know. A therapist in the Early Intervention System, or Service Coordinator. Find out if there is a Yahoo Message Board Support Group for your area. Sometimes local churches host these meetings. Face to face support groups are the best, but if they have an Internet component, even better.

3. It's not your fault you child is autistic. I know this sounds logical and silly and most intelligent people know this intellectually, but we have a Christian/Judeo Culture that believes strongly that you get what you ask for in this world. Also, it doesn't help that assholes like this spout their ignorant poison into the air like they are the authority on all mental disorders.

I remember vividly sitting with one of my son's Speech Therapists one day. We had been seeing her for several months at this point, I think he was 2 1/2 years old. Anyway, I must have made some sort of self deprecating comment about my deficiencies as a parent, and she stopped working with Kiki and looked at me.
"Wait a minute, you don't think that you did this to your son--You don't think that this is your fault, do you?" she asked. I tried to wave her off, but she was very persistant, I guess because she could see the guilt eating me up inside. She would not let me change the subject. "I've been studying autism and working with autistic kids for 10 years," she said. "You did NOT make your son autistic. This is not because of bad parenting, or you not stimulating him enough, or anything like that. You did not, could not, have caused these delays."
I started to tear up a bit, because even though I had been working with my little boy and learning everything I could about autism for almost a year at this point, she had clearly hit upon an intrinsic fear of mine. She stopped the session with Kiki altogether at that point and we spent the rest of the hour talking about my guilt and niggling worry that I had somehow done, or not done something with my little one to cause or exacerbate his autism.
I think it's something we, as parents of autistic kids, face at least some of the time, this pressure from society that we just don't know how to properly discipline our kids, as if setting limits and not letting your kid watch tv is the magic cure for autism. It's pervasive, too. Here's Dennis Leary, a comedian I used to love to watch and read, pontificating like some of developmental physician on what the "true cause" the rise of autism is. It's infuriating.

So, while yes, it is true that it's your responsibility that your child is alive, you did NOT make your child autistic. Make sure that you and your spouse have talked about this and are both on the same page, too. Your marriage may just depend on it.

4. You are the expert on your autistic kid. This also sounds like it should be obvious, but it's especially important for parents who are just learning how to navigate the system. If an expert (teacher, medical doctor, psychiatrist, behavioural therapist, etc...) is trying to get you to sign up for a therapy, education plan, whatever, that just doesn't seem right or a good fit for your kid, or even make complete and total sense, and this expert pulls the old "We are the experts--we know what we are doing here" patronizing crap, RUN THE OTHER WAY. Every single knowledgeable professional I've met, be they therapist, pediatrician, teacher, principal, or Indian Chief always comes from the position that no one knows the child in question better than the Knowledgeable Parent. Now, there are exceptions to every rule. There are parents who are genuinely clueless, but I'm betting that you are not one of them. You know you child. You deserve that respect. If you are not getting it, something is off and you need to find a back up plan.

Of course the flip side to this coin brings me to my final piece of advice:

5. You have to make sure that you are the Most Knowledgeable Parent you can be. And this will take some research. I've spent so many hours reading books, magazines, scientific journals. I've gone to seminars and conferences. I've met with therapists and doctors. I've built up quite a database of knowledge of what I think will work for my boys. I've created quite a network of trusted professionals who I consult with whenever questions and problems arise. And I have every confidence that this is what you will do. Perhaps you won't need to do it to the extent that I have. But I strongly recommend that you put the work in on the front end and pull back as needed. I guarantee you, once you have your network there, you will feel so much more confident and knowledgeable when you go into meetings to talk about your child (of course the dreaded IEP meetings come immediately to mind).

What works for us and how it may, or may not apply to you or your child? Please note, that I can only speak from my own experience. I do not believe that you follow our advice completely. But, you have to start someplace, and I prefer to search down paths that others have found helpful.

We use several different therapies with our boys. They go to an ABA based school where they are mainstreamed with a full time teacher as an aid. They are pulled out of the general classrooms about 50% of the time for one on one learning with that teacher. It's ridiculously expensive and it was a compelling reason for my husband to take this work assignment in Canada for the past two years (his company pays for it since the Canadian government rejected my two little boys because they weren't typical, but that's another post for another day). It will be coming to an end this school year when we move back to the USA this summer. We also use a technique called RDI (Relationship Development Intervention) at home. I've included a few of my favorite links below with descriptions of what they are. RDI isn't for everyone.

It's very similar to Floortime in its general philosophy, but with some very specific differences. I've seen some big differences in Kiki in the past year. We are just starting to formally integrate my younger son into the mix.

You work with a consultant with RDI, a certified consultant, whose job it is to help get you as the parent in the right place emotionally and intellectually to remediate your child's autism. I always do a really bad job of introducing RDI to other parents, but I do believe so strongly in it. RDI breaks down the steps to emotional development very systematically. The family works with the consultant, who looks at the child and the family, figures out where exactly the breakdown has been in the child's development, and how to best move him forward. The best part of RDI is that the parents are the therapists, so you find yourself "doing RDI" just about all the time. A big goal of RDI is incorporating the whole family into the process, so you all grow and move forward together.

There is also an online Operating System which you sign onto to upload your videos of progress and work for your consultant to view and critique. In fact, this is the primary way that parents and consultants communicate. I also spend time on the phone or in webconferences with mine. You can also watch videos of other families to get ideas and to watch RDI in action

But there are so many different therapies. There's the Floortime approach, developed by Stanley Greenspan. His book, Engaging Autism: The Floortime Approach to Helping Children Relate, Communicate and Think is pretty good and a great place to start, if you haven't already read it.
ABA (Applied Behavioural Analysis) is the standard of care (as I'm sure you know), with the recommended 40 hours a week. Biomedical is important. As you mentioned you have begun a GF/CF diet. If you haven't read it yet, I recommend the book Changing the Course of Autism by Bryan Jepson It's highly readable, yet very scientifically based and clear on the brain/gut connection. I also recommend finding a good DAN doctor or naturopathic doctor to help with Vit B and perhaps other supplements to help any nutritional deficiencies (DAN stands for Defeat Autism Now---have you noticed the overabundance of acronyms in autism treatment yet?). We actually have just started with this about a month ago seriously (I've dabbled on and off for two years with this but never with medical oversight) and have seen some good progress, especially in behavior and level of attention of both boys at school.

Have I exhausted you yet? I'm sorry if I have. I just wanted to get a good, comprehensive place for you guys to start, if you needed it.
Below are link that I have found to be really helpful. Autism Mommy and Daddy blogs have also been incredibly helpful to me, again with ideas and knowledge building.

The Horizon Developmental Remediation Center
This is a program based out of Michigan, so you would probably not work with them unless you are closer to them. But I love their video and I love the way they describe the philosophy of RDI and they have a great weekly e-newsletter for families with good ideas and articles.

The Connections Center in Houston, TX
This is the main website of the Connections Center which developed and continues to refine RDI. It's full of info and videos. It's a little overwhelming at first, but well worth your time if you find RDI compelling, as I did.

Mom-NOS blog
Fabulous Mommie Blog! She actually turned me on to RDI originally, describing her experiences and understanding of RDI. Love her! Love her blog! Love her son, Bud (not his real name)! Lots of information, if you go the right side bar and look for her keywords, you can find the entries directly relating to RDI. She is also happy to answer any questions you might have.

Jacob's Journey
One of the first RDI blogs I discovered and read all the way through. She does an awesome job of detailing why she came to RDI and how.

Remediating Autism
Found this link on one of my RDI support groups. Looks compelling.

This Mom, one Mom's Walk Through the Tall Grass
Funny. Random. Touching. Inspiring. I really like her, but I haven`t read as much of her blog as others.

Susan Senator's Blog
Love her book, Making Piece With Autism. Love her!! So honest. So approachable.

In fact, that another reason why I love parent blogs so much. By definition, they are parents who wanted to reach out with their stories and experience, so I've found them to be so open and approachable with questions and comments. The Internet rocks!!!

I may be finished Raising $$ for Autism Speaks, but...

2009-02-05T21:56:00.001-08:00

This video that I made to promote our walk is still pretty awesome.

Okay, so why am I finished with Autism Speaks? I just don't know if they truly have the interests of "all" people with autism at heart. They also need to learn that, when you run a "children's" charity (and like it or not, that's what Autism Speaks is), you need to practice a Caesar's Wife approach. You have to make sure your balance sheet is clean and pristine and everything in between.

With an office on Park Ave, NY, and Wilshire Blvd, LA, a private jet and a payroll that is HUGE, they haven't figured that out yet. But they will. Trust me...when they don't make anywhere NEAR in walk donations this next year (and they will be lucky to make half of what they took in the state of PA, let me tell you---there are some PISSED off parents in PA with Autism Speaks and their management) they will start to ask why.

And hopefully, they will LISTEN and really HEAR the answers.
But, for now...my video does rock, doesn't it?

Welcome Aboard the Tuna Boat

2008-11-16T11:34:00.000-08:00

So... late this morning, after NOT eating breakfast, my hungry daughter comes at me, armed with a Disney Cookbook , brandishing a recipe for Tuna Boats. "Can we make them, Mom?"

The interesting thing about this is that I have a very distinct and clear memory of making tuna salad with my mom when I was about Blythie's age. So, of course, I agree.

Ingredients are compiled, some on hand, some Daddy has to go out and buy. And Tuna Boat construction begins.

Was I ever as charming and unique as any of my children? I find it hard to believe. Now, don't get me wrong, there are days (quite a few of them in fact) when I can only just barely restrain myself from choking Blythe to death. But this morning was not one of them. She was patient and helpful and just about the cutest thing ever.

I only hope that years from now, on a chilly Sunday morning, her daughter will ask her to help make a tuna salad something. And she might just remember this one:

Tuna Salad Boats

1 bell pepper (we had red)

two stalks of celery

1 medium dill pickle

1 can of tuna in spring water

1/4 of mayo

tsp of dijon mustard

some fresh ground pepper

1 pita bread

tbsp olive oil

dash kosher salt

Preheat oven to 350. Cut pita bread into wedges, about the shape of a sail on a sailboat (you will have some pieces that won't look like sails--that's okay). Brush olive oil on wedges, sprinkle with a little salt and bake them for about 8 minutes or so.

Cut bell pepper into quarters (after removing seeds, of course). I diced the top and added it to the salad. Dice the celery and the pickle and put in a medium sized bowl. Drain the tuna and add to veggies. Add mayo, dijon mustard and mix well with a fork. Grind some pepper over bowl. About this time, your pita bread should be done. Fill your boats, and top with the baked pita "sail". I used a toothpick to ensure structural integrity to the boat.

Enjoy with beverage of choice.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go strangle the child who has decided it would be fun to throw cheerios all over the floor. Did I really say my kids were charming?

Ridin' the TTC on a Saturday Morn

2008-10-18T17:35:00.000-07:00

There is something so magical about riding the subway train for little kids.

Okay, perhaps some of that magic is lost if they ride it every day as their primary mode of transportation, but for my kids, it is definitely not the everyday experience. So, today's trip downtown to pick up David's running kit for the Toronto Marathon tomorrow was a fairly cool experience. We managed to get the first seat in the lead car, so we got a front seat view of the trip through the tunnels riding "Downsview." Cameron was all big eyes as we walked down the stairs and across the platform to wait for the train. We even got a chance to talk to the driver a little bit as he explained why were were stopping at one point.

After meeting Spongebob Squarepants and picking up David's race kit, we headed back home. On our train ride back home, Blythe waited for the front seat to open up with the attention and patience of a striking cobra. She popped up and ran towards it even before the gentleman had vacated the seat, almost pushing tired Saturday morning commuters out of the way in her haste.

On the ride home, we popped in and out of tunnels on the Yonge Street Line. At one point, we saw a little boy waving from a walkway above the track, and the driver honked his horn.

"So, why do train engineers like little kids so much, Mom?" Blythe asked.

"I guess because little kids know how cool their job is driving trains. And the engineers want to show the kids how much they appreciate that."

"Well, it is a cool job, Mom. I think I want to be an engineer when I grow up."

Chilly Nights and Blogs

2008-10-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

I've been trying on all sorts of new styles to my blog, these days. No one is actually reading the blog, other than me, of course. But hey, a girl can dream...

I'm not actually sure who my audience is yet. Again, not because no one is reading it, but because in order to write something, you have to know who your intended audience is. I think, as bloggers, we've all done the self censorship because you're trying to be cool, or you don't think people want to hear about this or that. But the truth of the matter is, I'm blogging because I want to. So I guess I'm sort of writing to myself...or those who I perceive as being like me.

It's so easy to get caught up in perfectionism, isn't it? I've been trying to live the Nike slogan and Just Do It. My problem is that I get all caught up in what I think things should look like, that I never actually get around to doing it. And you can really stymie yourself that way. I'm taking an organizational class online right now, and I've learned that I do this little Jedi Mind Trick with myself all the time when it comes to my house and organization. "Well, it'll never look exactly as I want it to look, so why even bother..." Never mind that I've never taken the time to sit down and just imagine what I want these spaces in my home to look like and feel like at all.

Mediocrity gets a bum rap. There is something to be said for those that have the courage to follow their convictions and just do it, regardless of what others might thing or say. I always used to love those poor souls that volunteered to go first in Alice's Scene Class at Stella Adler. They did get chewed out quite a bit, sure. But they also had the courage to not fear failure so much that they felt helpless and unable to act (both literally and figuratively).

So, as the days get shorter and the nights longer, I'm going to make a concerted effort to blog a little every day. I've a feeling it'll be a little strange and very hodgepodge. I've lots to say, though. About being a parent of three children, about being a parent of a little girl, about being a parent of two little autistic boys, about moving 5 times in eight years of marriage...

May You Live In Interesting Times...

2008-10-06T09:49:00.001-07:00

You know the Chinese have an old curse.

May you live in interesting times.

And we sure live in interesting times. I'm watching Richard Fuld get stretched over the coals for the policies of Lehman Bros. In the words of one analyst I read this morning, he should plead the fifth. Of course, he's not going to. He sure seems to want to clear his name. I guess these guys just feel entitled to making so much money. I guess there is no such thing as too much money to these folks.

And is it just me, or does the whole self righteous tone of the questioning today have a nasty odor of populist grandstanding and hypocrisy?

I wish that the wild ride would slow down a bit, but I have the suspicion things are going to get a bit worse before they get better. I just hope we can still afford to move back home when the dust settles...

Blythie's view as a consumer

2008-10-05T10:35:00.000-07:00

"Mom, if anything happened to Willie Wonka Candy and they went out of business, I would be really bummed. Because I really like Nerds and Gobstoppers and a lot of Willie Wonka Candy."

"And I also really like Wrigley's Chewing Gum, which is something I'm going to miss when we leave Canada."

"But Blythe, Wrigley's is an American company, based out of Chicago, actually."

"Really? Well, no wonder I like them so much. I'm from Chicago, too, you know."

Parenting Multiple Kids on the Spectrum

2008-10-03T09:44:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've been reading about the Discovery Channel's special Autism X6. And while I have a lot of empathy for this family and their struggles, am I the only one who wonders why they have 6 biological children with autism to begin with?

At some point didn't they think to themselves, "Gee, maybe we should just concentrate on the children we have here, or look seriously at adoption if we want to grow our family?"

I have three kids, two of which are autistic. I love each of them and I thank God and the Universe for them every day. And there is a part of me that desperately wants to have more. But I also think that it would be kinda irresponsible for us to bring another child into the world, given that two of the three that I have are already autistic. 1 in 3 odds I might play in Vegas, but not with the lives of my existing family, not to mention the life of that new child.

Because nobody sets out as the goal of parenthood to raise autistic children, right?

Has this day finally come?

2007-06-21T06:22:00.000-07:00

I've been afraid to write about this for the past three days, even though it has REALLY happened, seems to be true and I am not imagining it.

Kiki has been going on the potty. Every time.

I know what you are thinking...you are thinking, "But Gemma, aren't you rushing things? I mean, he is only 4 and a half years old?"

And you'd be right. The good news is that he does still poop in his pants (I'm so lucky, aren't I, that he saves that pleasure for me to clean :)

Maybe, juuuuust maybe, we might have him really and truly going on the potty for everything by the end of the summer.

Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

What to do....

2007-06-18T14:17:00.001-07:00

Summer is almost here and the living is....lonely. We don't know anybody yet, which sort of sucks.

Father's Day was a tad quieter than we would normally expect since we know...nobody. But hey, we are beginning to learn where the good Fish'n'Chip shops are. We have yet to find good Chinese food, although Hope Springs Eternal. Apparently all the Chinese food I've eaten up to now in my life has been from people from different parts of China than have immigrated here to Canada. The Nasty Panda down the block is just too foul for words, and the Stanky Panda over a few streets also sucks.

On a different note, we are all registered for school here. Now, if only I can survive until school starts....

A word about our title...

2007-06-13T17:44:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, myself and the kids are tooling around in Big Blue, shopping and spending money (two things I do VERY well) and from the backseat, Blythe pops out with the question, "So why do they have to put a Maple Leaf on everything?"

"Well, we live in Canada now, Honey," I sagely observe. "And Canadians are very proud of their country. Since the Maple Leaf is their symbol, they want you to know how proud they are of it."

"Yeah, but why do they have to put a Maple Leaf on everything?"